My purpose

So God has been working on me the last few days. Gotta love that molding, refining, eh? :|

Much of this challenge has been about feelings and emotions and it's kind of touchy feely and all that. :) So today, I thought I'd inject just some pure logic into it. HA! Now what I'm about to say, I will admit, doesn't make me particularly *happy* to think about all the time. In fact, there is a part of me that doesn't even want to say it. 1 - because I don't want to have to live it and 2 - because I don't want to be one of *those* women. :) You'll get that last one in a second. But here I am because I figure if I put it out there then you all will know and can help keep me accountable for it. :)

Here's what God showed me this week.

As a Christian, I DO believe that God is sovereign and perfect.
As a Christian, I DO believe that the Bible is the LIVING word of God, therefore truth.
(Now here's the kicker)

In Genesis (in the Bible...the one mentioned above..the true one...) it clearly states that Woman was created as a HELPER FOR MAN. Wait...what? No, no, I was created for all kinds of things related to ME. But no, God's REASON for creating me, as a being, is to be a helper to my man.

This means that as a married woman, Chris is my main purpose. Above all else! How crazy is that!?!? Now this may not be a revelation to some of you but to me it was a rather big blow! It's black and white, it's clear, it's not one of those grey areas. It is the truth as God meant for it to be.

So I started getting huffy about it. But what about me, what about my needs? I am not one of those submissive, role over, door mat kind of people. But here's the other thing God revealed to me.

His plan, his design IS perfect. Therefore, if he designed us this way, it will work out perfectly. He didn't make us this way as a cruel joke so that we can sit here and suffer all our lives, no, He did it so that together as Man and Wife, we can be a perfect match and HE will meet my needs accordingly. I just need to focus on making sure what I do is meeting Chris's needs.

So as much as I may not like the thought of being THAT woman. The submissive, I am here to please my husband, woman. In essence that's what I am supposed to be. According to the reason I was made.

Thankfully God has given me an amazing man who gets joy out of my successes and wants a partner, not a servant. So AGAIN God's plan is perfect and I CAN serve my purpose, I CAN make Chris my priority and it really DOES fulfill me and meet my needs. And God has provided anything else that I've needed.

Phew... maybe now I can sleep better. :D

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22)

This tiny verse has a lot of punch and a lot of meat :). So I know that a lot of us struggle with this one.

I've found for myself, submitting is a lot easier when I respect the person or the decisions that they are making. It's VERY hard when I don't. There are times when submission is simply an act of obedience to God. Isn't that somewhat circular? I submit to the Lord by submitting to my husband which is submitting to the Lord by submitting to my husband, etc etc.. :D It's interesting to me that I can "force" myself to be obedient to God even when I don't necessarily want to or I don't understand but I don't have that same ability with Chris. I know a lot of it is because he is a man, not perfect, not proven. God, we KNOW we can rely on. Husbands...well...sometimes they DO make mistakes. :)

So this is where I really do take to heart the 2nd part of this verse. It's not just about blind submission. Obedience like a puppy dog. No No. It's about trust and respect. I know there are times that I will not necessarily respect Chris but I do respect God and I trust God that if I obey and submit to Chris, then God will work in Chris to increase my trust and respect.

I have an amazing godly Grandmother. She is such a great rock and foundation for the women in my family. She said something very wise (which some of you have heard me say before). There was a time when she didn't agree with an approach my Grandpa was taking but she submitted to his decision because she "trusted the Holy Spirit within him". Isn't that an AWESOME thing!?!? We can have peace in the fact that God is working within our husbands.

Some of our husbands may not be as old in the faith as others and some might stumble more but know that God is STILL working within them. He doesn't give up and He doesn't let go so it is our job to TRUST God and be obedient (and patient :/), regardless and know that God will take care of the rest if we do our part.

Turn up the heat.

"Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant!" (Song of Solomon 1:16a)

OK so the choice of words is a bit old school here. The Book translation says "What a lovely, pleasant sight you are, my love..." A little better. :) My translation, "You're a hot piece of lovin" Hee hee.

This is something that Chris and I do well. Granted, we've only been married for 2 years so it's probably easier still. I do have to say though, it's nice to remember the chemistry. It's funny because I was thinking about this the other day. For me, the things that Chris does and the way he acts affects how attractive he is to me. This I think is key. Even as we get older, droopier, larger, smaller, whatever....as our phyical appearences change, there are still things about our spouses that make them attractive to us. Isn't that cool? And even if they won't admit it, guys DO care what you think about the way they look and a comment about our attraction to them and desire for them is HUGE!!

So tell your husband he's a hotty today. :D At the very least it might get a good giggle for the both of you. :D

Pace yourself!

Well...SHOOT, I'm just now reading today's challenge and it is nearly 10:30. I feel like I have fallen way behind in my challenge. Typical for me, I tend to be a sprinter in a marathon. LOL So let me rewind and touch on a few challenges that have spoken to me.



Day Six: Recognize your husbands creativity! I have to revisit this one because my husband is HUGELY creative and it is what attracted him to me so much. Just one example was the way he asked me out for the first time....He had heard me speak, basically giving my testimony to a group, a week prior. He showed up where I was speaking again the following week and had made me a present which was a collage of my story. Itsy bitsy tiny details all collected together to make one beautiful picture. It got my attention and told me 3 things: this guy is different, he listens, and he's creative! We've been together ever since.



Day Seven: "money is the root of much marital discord" Uh....I must have missed this one all together. Doug and I are on the same page when it comes to money, however, we just don't have enough! Making the decision to cut our income in half and have me stay home with Tatum has brought an enoromous amount of stress to our relationship. Though we aren't fighting about it there is certainly a constant tension and EVERYthing becomes a financial decision. So I am going to modify this Day seven challenge (for day 10) to not mention finances at all for the entire day....shouldn't be too hard since i will also be doing Day 9's challenge to be quiet :)



Day Ten: I love my husband's butt!! I don't know how spiritual that is, but it is very cute. It's the first thing I noticed when I met him, er, right after his love of God. Since I am doing challenges 6, 7, 9 and 10 on Monday, I'm going to write Doug a love letter (since i won't be speaking) telling him how attractive he is and how much I love his creativity. And I won't say a word about money...in fact...I will write it on recycled paper! LOL



Best to you all!

What?!?! Keep my mouth shut?

Wow...ok so today's message and challenge is kinda crazy but kinda fun. Try not speaking to your husband for a whole day unless you're asked a question. How funny is that? Unfortunately I JUST got to reading it today so I've already chatted away the morning but I think it'll be kind of fun to try it for the rest of the day. I didn't get a chance to post the rest of this weekend because, as it turns out, it's HARD to hide things from Chris when he's home!! :D I guess this is actually a good thing but it makes being sneaky hard. :D

"Be swift to hear, slow to speak . . ." (James 1:19b)

I don't know about the rest of you but I LOVE to talk. Blab, blab, blab. Add to that the fact that most days I'm spending 75% of my time with an 11 month old, Chris is bombarded with chatter the minute he hits the door. He's never complained about it and never grumbled (at least to me. :D) but this latest little challenge made me think a lot about it. I realized I even find myself trying to come up with things to say JUST for the sake of talking!! I know!! Crazy! :D

So, needless to say, I'm going to extend this game of quiet over to tomorrow and see if I can be more of a listener when Chris gets home from work. He's sort of a quiet guy anyway (all the better for me..hee hee) so we MIGHT have some crickets going. :)

But it did get me thinking about my prayer life and my communication with God. I've just recently finished (with some of you) a study on hearing God's voice [Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer - totally rocks] and one of the things they talk about is actively listening. We can't hear God if we're chattering away all the time. I "listened" very well for the week that was highlighted in the study and now, being reminded AGAIN, I realize I need to be more diligent about that. Hush Rachel HUSH!

God bless my husband for loving me and my ever running mouth. :) Thank you God, for putting up with it too. :)

Good luck on the quiet...definitely let me know if anyone else does this and how it is. :D I'm anxious to hear.

Peaceful Husband = Glory to God. :D

OK today I am sleepy and it is because I am ridiculously addicted to my husband. I was DOG tired all day and should have fallen asleep early. Chris even offered to put Evan to bed so that I could do just that. Wouldn't you know, I CAN'T SLEEP without him!! R-I-DICULOUS!! So today, I am sleepy. It did, however, give me a great chance to show him how much I needed him. LOL.

So today's verse seems to pop up a lot in my life.

"Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (1 Corinthians 10:31b)

It's basically the verse that kicked my butt into accepting where I am in life right now. Not "doing important things", just "staying at home, doing laundry". I thought I wasn't fullfilling any important role in the world (no insult to ALL of those that stay at home, promise). God really showed me, however, that he truly means ALL things. Do laundry, dishes, wipe snot, vaccuum, etc... ALL to the glory of God. What!?!? How is that possible? Then He started to show me how it really matters. Little opportunities to share God with someone I wouldn't encounter if I was at work, being able to attend a Bible study that was AWESOME during the day, etc... and NOW, I get to have these awesome quiet times, with these ROH emails and my random blog posts. :)

This is all showing me that one of the big things that I can do for the glory of God is be a good wife. This DOES bring glory to Him. This is one of the things He wants for me. Supporting Chris is not a lesser role, it does not make me less important in the world, it is just different than I've done in the past. All of the things that I do each day make his day go more smoothly and make his life more peaceful which in turn gives HIM the opportunity to focus more on God and gives me the opportunity to set a good example.

My brilliant friend Trish explained it SO well. Her husband can perform better at work because he is not stressing about the things going on at home. She helps him at work by being at home. Seems kind of crazy but it's true. God gives us our roles and our responsibilities for a specific purpose and since ALL things work together for good, for those that seek Him, it follows that we should do ALL things for His glory.

Not to leave out all you fabulous working women out there. I think perhaps, this is even MORE true for you. Your doing double duty. Work full time then come home and support your husband. God's grace and strength might even work MORE in your lives. :)

I love all the incredible women that are in my life. I have such great friends and mentors that cover the gammit as far as what they do and how they do it. Isn't God so great to give us such a support system? I hope that some of you have seen some cool things happening in your lives lately. I know I have been extremely blessed by the conversations I've been able to have, the daily meditation on these verses and the application of them in my life.

I think the hardest part so far has been not being able to tell Chris all the cool things. :D Thanks for letting me share with you and thanks for sharing back!

New comment on Ah the In-laws..

This is what my super brilliant friend Margaret sent me.

Next week is Jeremey's Birthday so I have sent his Mother flowers to arrive
on the 12th thanking her for raising such a wonderful husband and father.

MP

Ah the In-laws.

"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." (Ephesians 4:29)

Wow...so this says a lot. There are so many pieces of this verse worth meditating on.

"No corrupt word" - None...nada...zilch. Much like little white lies, right? :) A lie is a lie, no matter the size. Just like an insult still causes damage no matter how tiny it may be.

"necessary edification" - I never thought about it being necessary. A nice bonus, a sweet thing to do, good for the marriage, etc... but necessary? But when you stop to think about it, it really is. We all need a boost every once in a while and don't we all strive to do better and please more when we are lifted up? God himself does this for us when we feel the peace that comes with obedience or see the results of his direction. That "good job, Rachel" feeling definitely keeps me desiring the straight and narrow. :) I'd imagine my husband would be only that much more motivated to do those things best for the marriage and the family if he knew I recognized and appreciated them. Necessary, DEFINITELY.

"impart grace to the hearers" - Wow. We talk a lot about the grace of God and I don't think there is one of us here that is not extremely thankful for that grace and yet, I know in my case, I don't always find myself extending the same grace to others, especially verbally. Do my words always display an attitude of grace and forgiveness, to ANYONE that hears it? Even if it's just the random stranger walking past? Doh! :) There's something I know I need to work on. :)

The ROH email talked about complimenting and praising your husband to other people and how that adds VALUE to him. What an awesome thought. I can add value to my husband simply by braggin on him. :) Thanking the in laws for their part in creating the man that I love, something I hadn't thought to do. Even as adults, our parents' opinions of us still matter to a certain extent so how cool is it that I can build up Chris's parents' opinion of him?! This has got to have a trickle down affect on him. It's all connected, all related, isn't it?

God, THANK YOU for the opportunity to show grace today to those around us through our words. As we start a new era in our country and we have concerns and possibly complaints, thank you for reminding us that YOUR grace came first and YOUR plan is in place so we need only follow your perfect example and trust in you. Thank you for our husbands and the men you have made them. May everyone around us know that we love and support them. Amen

Today, I'm excited to have the chance to impart some grace through some necessary edification of my husband to my in laws. :) woh there are some big words in there eh? :)

I do - Another way your vote counts

So my post today already seems sort of random and scattered in my head. I'll apologize now. First, Thank You. Thank you to all who are doing this with me. It is easier to remember, and harder to forget when I know that other women are accomplishing these feats :) every day.

Leadership is (obviously) on my mind today and the ROH email just added to that.

"Let him labor, working with his hands what is good . . ." (Ephesians 4:28b)

At every level of our lives, here in the US, we deal with our leaders and because God has blessed us to live in a democratic country, we have chosen those leaders (actively or passively). From the man I voted for today for President, down to the city councilman, my church pastor, and even my husband, the leader of my house I have been the one CHOOSING to align myself or put my trust in that person. All of these people work in my life because I "voted" for them. Now, granted, when it comes to political leaders, sometimes the ones in charge are NOT the ones we picked BUT as Christian women we know that they ARE the ones that God is using for his ultimate plan and we have aligned ourselves with God.

So as I thought about this 30-day challenge and how this relates to leadership I was convicted. The encouragement part of this challenge is an awesome thing and definitely helping me see great things about Chris and appreciate them but the other part is about not speaking poorly. I have been conscious to not speak badly of Chris to him or to anyone else. That part, I think is EXTREMELY important. However, I haven't extended that courtesy to the other leaders in my life. I have bashed political candidates for how much bashing they've done. How hypocritical can I get? I have also recently expressed some negative opinions about others leaders in my life. Wouldn't I be setting a better Christian example by simply not aligning myself with those people anymore and encouraging those leaders that I DO support? And to take it even further, shouldn't I then lift those others up in prayer?

Not sure if this is all making much sense but I feel like I need to take time today to lift up all the leaders in my life in prayer, watch my tongue and only speak words of encouragement about EVERYONE. Chris works hard for our family. He doesn't always make decisions that I agree with, but neither does ANY leader so why are my expectations and behaviors different? Would I badger and berate the President if I'd been the one to vote for him? If I chose a leader, what would it say about me if I then went around talking bad about him? We chose our husbands!

I think that it will be very easy today for all of us to get caught up in our candidates and forget that bottom line, we are Christians and over and above who we vote for today, we can make the biggest impact on not only our country but our own families simply by our attitudes towards our leaders. Win or Lose for our candidates, God is STILL in control, still sovereign and by bad mouthing our husbands, our pastors, our President, we are showing our lack of faith in the abilities of our God. We chose our husbands, ladies, and nobody else got to vote on that so let's remember that. Who knows what plans God has for them. Lift them up, encourage them, and don't taint the encouragement with ugliness on the side.

Chris the Tool (hee hee)

Isn't it amazing how God takes care of us? I've been stressing over some decisions lately and hadn't talked to Chris about them yet. I was working up my argument, thinking of all my great points and facts, etc...etc... and finally last night got the confirmation it was time to bring it up. Wouldn't you know God had been working on Chris and I didn't even need any of those arguments?

I've always thought about today's 2nd scripture in a material way,

"Love suffers long, and is kind." (1 Corinthians 13:4a)
"My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)

but God supplied to me an understanding and prepared husband. The burden of the decision was lifted because God used Chris. I often forget that this is not all about my walk and about my needs but that God is also always working in Chris as well. We talk so much about showing God's love and I know I am usually focused on those people outside my family that need that love. I think serving those in needs is extremely important and an act of obedience but often I forget about those closest to me. Isn't it almost MORE important to show God's love to my husband whom God is working through for me and my family? Chris is a tool that God uses to teach me, doesn't that in itself deserve my respect, patience, and love?

Today has given me not just a deeper appreciation for Chris but also for the God that loves me enough to teach me through ALL the people around me, including my sweet husband. DUH Rachel.... :)

30 Day Challenge kickoff

This weekend Steve helped me a lot with cleaning the house.  He always does, which is really awesome!  With all the walk training, the house has been pretty neglected, and anything that has been done lately has been from Steve.  J  I took off from training, so we both just got in and got things back in shape. 

We were looking through some pictures from our dating & wedding too, and that was really fun.  Just a few minutes of looking back on where you have been, and the changes you have made together, is a great way to celebrate your relationship. 

Steve is not short on handy talents, so once the house was clean, he got one of his other house projects done.  It looks cool and it gave me a chance to compliment his handyman skills. 

The biggest compliment I think is that he is going to get up super early to take me to the opening ceremonies for the 3 Day on Friday!  He hates mornings, but he’s going to take me and hopefully video some of the events before he goes off to work.  Now that’s dedication!  J

I’m looking forward to this week and the assignments. 

I’m glad we’re all doing this together!

Melissa

Serving, serving, serving.

What a fitting scripture for today.

"Through love serve one another." (Galations 5:13b)

We've had nothing but a weekend of serving with Halloween and a 6 year old birthday party. Chris has been so amazing and helpful. God has truly blessed me with a husband with a servant's heart and to top it all off, he thanked ME for all that I do. Such a sweetheart.

I think these days women get a bad wrap for serving their husbands. Some see it as a weakness. I see it as a blessing. He is taking care of this family, sure it's a team thing, and I help with the house and finances but the ulitmate responsibility is his and he takes it very seriously. I am realizing how fulfilling it can be to make sure all those little things are taken care of so he doesn't have to worry about them.

It's funny too because it seems the more I serve him, the more he does in return. NOT that that is my motivation :) but it sure is nice!! All those silly little sayings about honey and flies and golden rules actually are true!! ;) If I want a different response from him, I change MY response and it's amazing how he changes along with it.

God is so good!! I love how he created us (man and woman) to work together and fill in the cracks for each other. :) I don't know about you guys but I am so glad to have my man.

I would venture to say that the ultimate act of love is serving. When you've had a crappy day or you're tired or maybe even he did something you're not too happy about, turn the tables

The Journey Begins

Hello ladies!!! Today is day number 1 of our little adventure here. My post is late as I've not had a chance to get away from Chris all day to do my secret blogging. :) So far so good! :) Today was easy for me, though, as it's Raimi's birthday party and he's such a great dad so there's been a lot for me to encourage him with.

I love the scripture reference for today:
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." (Proverbs 31:11-12)

Isn't it cool (and a little overwhelming) to think these men trust us with their hearts? What an privilege and responsibility to make sure it's kept safe.

Gotta run...off to the Little Gym for a Haunted Birthday Party! :) I'll talk to you all tomorrow!